GabeMondragon 2020-10-13 23:34:26

I had an interesting set of experiences today. One being that I hallucinated at Walmart. The other being that I did brain exercises specifically to ground me in reality, and while it seemed to negatively affect my art production on some level, it also improved me to notice something I hadn't realized this entire time with all the frames. I did those exercises to counteract what I think was involuntary exposure to marijuana smoke from the new junkie neighbor, because I've been experiencing schizophrenia symptoms.

GabeMondragon 2020-10-13 23:41:08

Technically I was already hallucinating at my desk before leaving to go to Walmart, so this shouldn't come as a surprise. Doing my best art means detaching from reality to the point where I neglect shaving and personal hygeine, washing my clothes, taking out the garbage, etc. Technically I'm supposed to have a caregiver that helps me with that stuff, but New Mexico shit government. I shouldn't even be out in public when I'm hallucinating, but I'm the only one who will go get me food. Technically I'm supposed to be on medication and have a caregiver to help with these things too, but America is a wretched place in some ways, and this is one. Technically I shouldn't be hallucinating at all, because I shouldn't be breathing in someone else's airborne psychoactive chemicals, but the government is pushing it aggressively and forcing it on everyone everywhere, sentencing me to a lifetime of suffering and pure hell, so I did the brain exercises to help sharpen my mind up to solve the problem. I really can't spare the time or mental effort to do so, but nobody else cares enough to.