It seems there are forces in my mind that can seem quite powerful and overwhelming in determing choices, actions and behavior. This battle of my mind against itself is interesting. I believed this forces were external but they're not. It's forces in my mind that are like a wave trying to push me in certain directions and towards certain things. I once believed I was helpless and powerless against these forces, but am finding that even accepting that thought as truth was my mind deceiving me, deceiving itself. I've been fighting and winning these battles. There are external events that are contributing factors to the internal conflict, of course, but my mind can either amplify or reduce the influence and impact these things have on my thoughts and behavior. For example, I can't seem to quiet the voices and make them shutup. But I've been making progress in gaining control over what they say. This started a couple years ago with Dr. Albert Ellis saying we should examine and alter self-statements, the verbalized thoughts in our head. (Not my art)