Mind continues to check out. Reality continues to slip away. I forget things I'm reading within seconds of reading them. So decided to draw. Drawing is like a drug to me. It's as if there's this other world that exists, and overlaps this one. Imagination is a word used to describe that world. Yet, to me at least, it's real. And it crosses the boundary between the two worlds and pulls me into it. Maybe it's my brain injury. Maybe it's the schizoaffective disorder. Maybe it's both. But this escape from reality isn't always a bad thing. Often it's soothing and comforting. I'd much rather be in that world than this one. This world can be rather awful, and it's inhabitants as well. In that world people aren't horrid bags of garbage, everything is pleasurable and nothing hurts.
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Doing art again
Posted by GabeMondragon - July 26th, 2020
GabeMondragon
The past week almost, I'll sit at my computer, forcing my eyes to look at the screen and read the content. But even though the letters go into my eyeballs they don't seem to be sticking to my brain. It's like trying to charge a dead battery that won't take a charge. Same with meditation classes. The instructor reads and speaks to me, and nothing he says seems to enter my mind. I understand all too well how alone I am in dealing with these issues. I just wish the government here wasn't so shitty that I actually had health coverage and got a caretaker or meds or something that could get me to overcome this mental limitation and achieve my goals.