I find myself intimately familiar with abandonment and isolation. I find myself in this situation since childhood, where I feel lost, and I ask myself where is my family, my friends, my loved ones, but they've abandoned me and left me all alone. I have this future goal of forming long term bonds and relationships with people. One day I'll be a part of a family again. But I've held that hope, had that dream since I was a teenage runaway, and for over 20 years it never came true. Realistic me sees myself in all the old abandoned people with mental illness, bound to die alone and forgotten. But part of me still holds onto this fantasy that maybe the world won't be such a bad and awful place because people are so bad and awful. That maybe one day I'll finally find a group of people who don't do drugs or drink, and are actually caring and supportive, rather than selfish and deceptive. And maybe I'll finally find a living situation that's truly drug and alcohol free, since that one thing seems impossible to find in America