GabeMondragon 2020-10-12 09:56:07

Only 2 people have given me any feedback at all on this. It's this weird thing society does, intentionally undervaluing my talent. But I see how good this is. The main reason this excites me so much is this confirms I have value. My skill is very valuable. I can make money and rise out of the shithole circumstances America purposely keeps me in, by doing things like intentionally undervaluing my skill

GabeMondragon 2020-10-12 11:18:05

Or depriving me of help. Looking at how fucked up and cold our society is in the way they did Nikola Tesla, I'm certain the amazing thing I've accomplished here is purposely being ignored so I think lesser of myself. A better society would give me the help and care I need, not deprive me of it like America does because it's a bunch of shitty assholes. And part of that help would be getting me a manager so I could make money off my art, like I could've been doing for decades now, if America wasn't such a culture of shitty assholeness. With this sort of talent and production, my art and animation skills are clearly highly valuable and worth money. If I overcome America's awful, horrid shittiness, I can finally make real money and find what my Pastor calls my Shangri La. The main part of this was looking for a community or society that doesn't smoke weed or do any other drugs. I realize drug dealers and junkies aggressively push it on anyone and everyone they can, but there must be some places in the world that are authentically drug free. But another thing would be moving to a society where I would've had my mental illness diagnosed and treated before electrocuting myself and self-inflicting my amputations and a brain injury, let alone after. Two symptoms of what I'm talking about in regards to how horrid and shitty America is: when I was 19 I had a gallery owner put my work up in his art gallery. All my art sold out, he never paid me a cent, and because of my schizophrenia being activated and exacerbated by marijuana, I thus continued to be homeless and on drugs, like so many other schizophrenics in America, because America is absolute shit about mental illness. Second example: I electrocuted myself for whales and trees in 2008, an obvious sign of mental illness. Was rubber stamped without an assessment as bipolar type 2 and discharged from the hospital with no follow up care. Even now that I have an official diagnosis and the government knows my schizoaffective disorder is real and valid, I still continue to be deprived by our shitty asshole society of help and treatment. But this new skill I've acquired in animation could be a way out of the horrible circumstances America constantly places me in. A way out of debt and eventually buying a house and property. The only way I can live away from drugs in America is by isolating myself from people and society, deep in the woods or out at sea living on a sailboat again. But I like people. I'm willing to bet there's actual drug free communities of people that aren't assholes somewhere in this world, because I can't find a single square block in America that fits that criteria. Of course, being the shitty scumbag society America is, it will not only purposely and intentionally continue to not help me towards this goal, and deprive and obstruct me from getting help to attain it in any way they can, but they will intentionally and deliberately go out of their way to prevent me from achieving this goal, the only effort being to hurt and hinder, not help and support. They like me poor and suffering easily avoidable and preventable pain and suffering they cause, rather than prevent. Overcoming my circumstances means overcoming America. Crazy how the people pretending they care about you are actually your worst enemies. All these years I could've been making money off my skill and talent and had a career, but America is so shitty it didn't happen. Like even now, in what is a great moment of triumph for me, I find myself all alone in my accomplishment. The isolation is neccessary, as Americans have never actually helped me accomplish much of anything but electrocuting myself and things like that. Removing people from my life was neccessary to accomplish this goal, because people are shit, they do the opposite of help and support on purpose. But I like to imagine a world where things are different. I'll pray to God this accomplishment is a key to unlock that world. A world where I don't have to isolate myself from others in order to be healthy and accomplish my goals. A world when I do achieve something so great, people show up in real life and celebrate and congratulate, and even help me pursuit this to career.